Sing With Me?
by BlindDestiny
Summary: Many songfics in one bundle. Mostly InuKag and MirSan. Discontinued.
1. Lovestoned

The song: Lovestoned by Justin Timberlake

Pairing: Sango and Miroku (Of course. If you've heard the song then you're probably nodding with me.)

xXx

Miroku sauntered down the sidewalk in his normal 'I'm too sexy' fashion. Any other night, he'd be walking home; but not this night. Oh, _Kami_ not this night!

Tonight, he shall party!

Yes, that's right folks, Miroku's going to the club. Hoping to get a good lay before dawn. He was dressed pretty casually, but sexy nonetheless.

His dark purple shirt contrasted against his plain white sports-coat, and he sported dark wash jeans that were ripped in random places with black and white checkered Vans peeking out from beneath the hem. A smirk pulled at his lips as he thought of the perfect girl. She had to have a good body, good the feel, good to eye.

But then again, she couldn't just be a complete bitch either. She had to have personality. See, Miroku's not _all that_ shallow… cough.

He was about a block away from the club before he heard the thumping of the bass cranked to maximum and the low rumble of people straining their vocal chords to be heard over the mess. Lights swirled around the blank sky and did aerodynamics in perfect form. Several cars whizzed by and the headlights were almost blinding, but he paid no mind. All he was waiting for was that first drop of liquor to touch his lips and send him on a brilliant trip. That, and waking up next to a beautiful girl… naked of course.

_Mmm… morning pleasure…_He thought humbling to himself. The smile that crept onto his face would have scared many a girl scout, but the staggering women around the club found it terribly arousing.

"Heeey, sexah!" A busty blonde girl stumbled towards him with an empty Budweiser bottle in her fist. She failed to realize that it was empty and took what looked like a big gulp and hiccupped. "Whatcha doiin…" she leaned closer to Miroku's face and moved her lips dramatically for sexual emphasis, "…_later_?"

An enormous smile found itself on Miroku's face as he restrained the sudden, and almost unbearable, urge to jump up and down like a nine year-old. "I don't know. It depends on what you're doing." He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it. Clichéd vintage sophistication, that always worked.

The blonde giggled, "You're fuuunnnyyy!" Swiftly after, she burst into ridiculously loud fits of laughter. Miroku gave her a 'what the hell' look, but his sexual tension kept him straight. He opened his mouth to say something, probably "Let's go to my place," but before he could utter a word the girl stopped laughing at looked at him, but not necessarily looking at him…

The Budweiser bottle fell to the concrete with a shatter and both her hands flew to her mouth and she heaved. Miroku cringed at the yellowish-green acid oozing from between her fingers and quickly ran away.

_Okay… no more drunk girls until you are drunk as well…_

After that amusing little anecdote, Miroku opened the double doors to the club very dramatically and swaggered in, the music pounding in his ears.

_She's freaky and she knows it  
__She's freaky and I like it_

The club was lit by the use of black lights and random strobes and a mirror ball or two; and the dance floor was right in the center, surrounded by an elevated floor, which supported tables. The bar was on the far end of the building, and behind the dark wood counter was an entire wall of bottles and glasses. It glittered luminously from the many lights of the place and it was exuberantly colourful. Miroku just didn't know where to start his alcohol escapade.

"Hmm…" He mumbled to himself, no one would care if he did or not, for the music was too loud to hear him anyway. "Let's start with something light…"

Confidently, he walked up to the bartender and scanned the background for his desired drink.

"I'd like an apple-tini." _(Apple Martini, for people that don't know)_

The bartended raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sir, _that_ bar is across the street."

Miroku looked at him, appalled. "I'm not gay! I would just like an apple-tini!"

Without further argumentation the barkeep mixed the drink and handed it to the fuming man.

"That's right." He spat and grabbed the drink, storming off to one of the corners of the dark building. There was a huge mass of people on the dance floor, and they were all dancing maniacally. The beat of the music pumped something into their hearts and sent them on a whirl. He finished off his apple-tini and let the alcohol take over.

_Listen_

That's when a peculiar girl caught his eye.

She was tall and lean, skinny and, if he says so himself, developed. She wore a tight pink tank top with a black lace necklace, her capris were so dark you'd thought she hadn't had any legs at all and a small silver bracelet in the shape of a boomerang hung from her wrist. Miroku's eyes glazed over with lust. She was perfect! Gorgeous, and platinum for his liking!

Her arm extended, revealing a bottle of Corona Extra and she took a swig, finishing it off. A frivolous grin lingered on her lips as if to advertise that she was intoxicated. Miroku gave her one more look-over and immediately decided that he wanted _her_ to leave with him.

_She grabs the yellow bottle  
__She likes the way it hits her lips  
__She gets to the bottom  
__It sends her on a trip so right  
__She might be goin' home with me tonight_

He smirked and hesitantly made his was over to her. The first detail that he noticed was her very _fine_ ass. A perverted grin tugged on his lips and he picked up his pace. Her figure was perfect, and he _loved_ it. He knew that it would be a little bit of a challenge to win her over, but Miroku had confidence in himself and knew that she had a weakness… she had to.

The several lights swirled and moved rapidly around the dance floor, creating a mesmerizing effect on anyone looking at it. It felt like an acid trip, and Miroku was focused on the girl he was after, not really noticing anything else.

_She looks like a model  
__Except she's got a little more ass  
__Don't even bother  
__Unless you've got that thing she likes  
__I hope she's goin' home with me tonight_

The way she moved her body around and in so many different twists and turns only made his desire for her stronger. She laid her bright honey-glazed eyes on him and an expectant grin peeled back her lips.

_Those flashing lights come from everywhere  
__The way they hit her I just stop and stare  
__She's got me love stoned  
__Man I swear she's bad and she knows  
__I think that she knows_

He reached her side and her grin only grew, nice to have some company. Miroku's eyes flashed and his hands found their way to her hips, swaying almost violently with her to the beat of the music. "What's your name?" He mumbled seductively into her ear.

She giggled and her breath smelt of alcohol, "S-Sango."

He chucked at her stammering, "What a lovely name. Mine's Miroku."

He could feel Sango nodding as they continued their dancing. The music vibrated their feet and sent them into whirls of heat and alcoholic pleasure.

_She's freaky and she knows it_  
_She's freaky but I like it_

Suddenly she broke away from him and walked backwards, beckoning him to follow. Miroku impulsively followed as Sango continued to shimmy as she walked. Several men from the crowd broke away from their tasks just to eyeball her, but when they saw the trance that her and Miroku were in they shrugged it off.

Most of the men that looked received a slap from their dates.

_She shuts the room down  
__The way she walks and causes a fuss  
__The baddest in town  
__She's flawless like some uncut ice  
__I hope she's goin' home with me tonight_

Finally she stopped in a relatively vacant corner of the floor and continued to shimmy. Her hands moved all over his body and he tried to do the same to her. His hands ran down her waist and her back, finally reaching her backside when he felt her hands grab his wrists and she shook her head at him. Miroku sighed sadly, but kept on his stride, she seemed to be having a good time.

From what he guessed was Sango's wishes, he kept his hands on her hips and such, never reaching for the places he'd _like_ to. If he played all of his cards right, he could get this girl. Better yet, _have_ this girl. She can't just be a drunken one-night-stand, it's too good, too perfect, too real!

Then again, most drunken one-night-stands are.

_And all she wants is to dance  
__That's why you'll find her on the floor  
__But you don't have a chance  
__Unless you move the way that she likes  
__That's why she's goin' home with me tonight_

_Now dance  
__Little girl  
__You're freaky, but I like it_

Miroku watched Sango dance to her heart's content. She was definitely having a great time.

She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him closer to her, all the while she was dancing, and Miroku could feel himself heat up with anticipation.

"Hot damn…" He muttered, making her smirk.

_Hot damn!  
__Let me put my funk on this one time_

Miroku leaned towards her and let their lips brush against each other. To his surprise, Sango didn't pull back. Instead she let their lips move against one another just like how they were dancing. A warm shock of tension rushed threw their veins and sparked their tension and desire. Sango broke the kiss but stayed close to him, a smile playing across her face.

"Hey," she practically giggled, "Let's get… out of here…"

_Score!_ Miroku mentally congratulated himself, holing his fist in the air behind Sango.

"Of course," his voice was slurred. It seems like he's had a few drinks threw this whole ordeal, though he doesn't know where. What does it matter, he was getting laid for god's sake!

Their lips locked again as the couple staggered over to the bar and ordered something 'for the road'. They quickly chugged their drinks and Sango went to use the bathroom and they were off.

Sango was swaying down the sidewalk with Miroku's jacked draped over her shoulders and his arm around her waist. She giggled drunkenly and snuggled into him, "Soo… where are we going?"

Miroku smirked, "To my place, of course."

She sighed happily. Yep, she's intoxicated.

They reached Miroku's apartment where they both quickly started undressing and running to the bedroom. They were crawling all over each other! After beating around the bush with making-out they graduated to the more… _mature_… happenings.

Blackout.

XxX

Miroku stirred in his sleep and he could feel the piercing sunlight behind his closed eyes. His head pounded with the aftereffects of his drinking escapade, and soon realized that he was in his bed… in the buff.

A smirk pulled on his lips as a few slivers of memories came to him… One memory in particular…

Sango.

The beautiful girl that he met at the club… Had they really… done it? Done _that_? Of course, Miroku didn't usually sleep in the buff, as popular belief would contradict; but indeed he was nude.

The other side of his mattress moved and his smirk widened. She was still there, eh? Slowly, he rolled over and snaked his arm around her waist, breathing heavily into her ear, "Good morning, beautiful."

A groan came from beneath him and he peeked open one eye to see why. Next thing he knew he was yelling at the top of his lungs and falling backwards off his bed and into a bundle of blankets and sheets.

The woman on the other side of the bed opened her eye and peered over the side. "What is wrong with ye, child?"

Miroku's eye twitched at he truly felt sick. The woman in front of him was not the beautiful young girl he had met downtown… but an old shriveled up lady with long gray hair and an eye patch.

_I… I… screwed an old pirate woman!?!_

"Who-Who are you?" he wailed, not wanting to believe what he had just done.

The old woman raised an eyebrow, "I am Lady Kaede. Who are ye?"

Miroku just couldn't bring himself to speak; all he did was choke down vomit. "What happened last night?" He managed, before gagging again.

"That I do not know, child. But why are you in such an exposing disposition?"

Miroku sweat-dropped and smiled really awkwardly. He quickly covered himself more than he already was and scratched the back of his head. _This woman isn't that bright, I see… That's good for me…_

"Well, um… Let's get up! It's a wonderful day!" Miroku jumped up, trying to be exaggeratory, but he quickly dived back down under the covers when he realized that he was exposing himself yet again.

The old woman shrugged, "I shall go make breakfast," she spoke while standing up, "Ye, child, should get dressed."

Miroku nodded feverishly as Kaede left the room and shut the door. The poor, violated boy began compensating by beating his head against the wall, respectively. And if that just wasn't enough to knock him out, his nerves were finally shot as he heard Kaede singing from his kitchen…

_And now I walk around without a care  
She's got me hooked  
It just ain't fair, but I...  
I'm love stoned and I could swear  
That she knows  
Think that she knows, oh, oh  
She knows, she knows, oh, oh_

His head hit the carpet with a dull, resounding 'Thud.'

xXx

**Author's Notes—**No I didn't… Yes I did! I just couldn't help it. Now, to explain:

The Sango that Miroku was dancing with actually was Sango. When Sango went to use the bathroom was when Miroku was so drunk he couldn't tell the difference between our favourite demon slayer and an old pirate-lady.

Well, that was enjoyable I guess.

-**Destiny**


	2. The Toast Song!

**Disclaimer: I don't own the series or the song. **

**Author's Notes-** Something I thought of on the spot and I knew it was perfect. I was_ supposed_ to be working on The Call but, being the procrastinator that I am, decided to do this instead. Of course the inspiration was more reliable as well…

Anyway, the song is Haywood Banks's 'The Toast Song'. If you've never heard of it… it's a work of magnificent art… it really, really is.

xXx

The alarm rang furiously on the nightstand. Suspiciously the hands read 8:13… a very random time but who cares? The owner of the tiny green hand that smashed the clock doesn't, that's for sure! Claro-que-sim!

Jaken popped his big, bald green head out of the covers and rubbed his abnormally large eyes. Today… shall be glorious. Today… was different. Today… Jaken was taking no shit off anybody! Today…

…was his day off!

Yes, the once in a millennium time when the green man celebrates his own 'Me-time'. The day that Jaken's looked forward to more than anything, other than his own death, since his lord brought that _child_ to accompany them.

"That foolish child…" He spat, disgusted. "'Jaken, watch after her.' 'Jaken, don't let her wander.' '_Jaken_, stop talking.' When will _I_ ever be appreciated for my loyalties to him! I, Jaken, have been more extraneously loyal and exhaustingly hardworking that that human girl will ever _dream_ of being! I deserve more time off!"

Ah, his ritual. Every day-off he's had since he can remember, he'd shake his fist at the heavens and wonder why the gods punished him so… but enough of that! It's time to get the day started! And although it's a day of relaxation, there's still much to do!

Jaken hopped out of his bed, still clad in his usual attire, and ran leisurely to the room at the far end of the hall. Two large, white metal boxes, dominated the tiny room and when his small toad-feet padded into it, he had already began stripping.

Yes, sadly this is the only outfit Jaken owns. It's versatile, so he claims, but it always reeks to high-Fuji when Laundry time comes around! (And Laundry time is his day off)

Jaken deftly started the washing machine and threw his clothes into it. Now stark naked, he sauntered to the bathroom with no shame written on his face. After an extremely needed shower, a towel found itself around him and you could tell that it was screaming in agony.

Did Jaken ever think that Sesshomaru only gave him a day off because his stank became too much for his nose?

Nope. (But we all know that it's the most likely reason)

Finally to the paramount! The best part of his day!

Breakfast!

Jaken's most adored food shall be prepared today! And means to waste no time in getting to the fact!

He always found a little song running through his mind, but it wasn't until today until it came out loud. Why today? Who cares! All Jaken knows is that the urge to sing is becoming impeccable, and he can suppress it no longer!

_All around the country and coast to coast,  
People always say: "What do you like most?"  
I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast,  
I always tell 'em: "I like toast."_

The first verse was like wildfire. Spreading through the kitchen and making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Would he stop there? No! Of course not! He bounded towards the refrigerator during the chorus, because the chorus is just that uplifting!

_YEAH TOAST!  
YEAH TOAST!_

The refrigerator door swung open and Jaken climbed a few shelves before reaching two glass jars.

_I get up in the mornin' 'bout six AM,  
Have a little jelly, have a little jam,_

Tossing the jars to the counter, he merrily skipped to the bread box; which mysteriously contained bread… Who would've thought?

_Take a piece 'a bread, put it in the slot  
Push down the lever and the wires get hot-  
I get toast._

At last, the toaster. The heart of the operation! You can't make toast without a toaster! That's why it's called toast, silly.

The bread fit perfectly into the slot and the spring-loaded lever just begged to be pressed. The coils inside the machine turned red with a luminous glow, and Jaken could hardly contain himself.

_YEAH TOAST!  
YEAH TOAST!_

_Well there's no secret to toasting perfection.  
There's a dial on the side, and ya make your selection.  
Push to the dark or the light and then,  
If it pops too soon… press down again-  
Make toast._

**Pop**

His eyes grew wide at the break of anticipation. It was done. The toast… has been completed!

He leaped into the air with glee and plucked the freshly made toast out of the toaster. A butter knife was neatly lined up next to the jars of jam and jelly, and he joyfully began to dress his food.

_YEAH TOAST!  
UNH TOAST!_

_When the first cavemen drove in from the drags.  
Didn't know what would go with the bacon and the eggs.  
Must've been a genius, got it in his head.  
Plug the toaster in the wall; buy a bag of bread-  
Make toast._

Although he had no bacon or eggs, the verse still fit! The song was almost complete! All he needed now was a bizarre dance sequence with his desired… in…

FRENCH!

_YEAH TOAST!  
UNH-NOAST!_

_Oui Monsieur, bonjour coquette,  
Une croissant? Et vous auvent?  
Maurice Chevalier, Eiffel Tower,  
Oui Marie, baguette, bonsoir!_

Jaken had no idea how to speak French, obviously. But an 'A' for effort never hurt anyone! Except English teachers…

_FRENCH TOAST!  
FRENCH TOAST!_

Taking a gigantic bite out of his toast, he let it hang in his jaws and continue to dance around like an idiot. With his hands in the air to boot…

_YEAHHHH TOAST!  
EH-AYEH-AYEAH_  
…_Toast._

Jaken felt his towel loosen and in his final turn finally give way to gravity. He didn't make any attempt to compose himself. The feeling of freedom that followed was much welcomed and appreciated. There wasn't anything to think about. All he knew, he was alone and free with his toast… dancing naked in the kitchen.

The sound of someone clearing their throat unusually loud reached the toad's ears and he ceased his reveling. Standing in the doorway, was a very disappointed Sesshomaru, and Rin. (Fluffy was covering her eyes with one hand, and she was struggling to figure out what it was she couldn't see)

Sesshomaru quirked an expectant brow at the quivering toad, "Don't you think you should gather yourself, Jaken?" A condescending undertone slipped through his voice and broke Jaken out of his comatose state.

He hurriedly grabbed the discarded towel from the floor and covered himself with it; his toast still hanging from his jaw. Not for long, upsettingly, because the factors of gravity, neglect, and the saturation from Jaken's mouth cause it to crumble and fall to the tile with a heart-stopping_'Thump'._

His already huge eyes bugged out even more and his hand flew to an open mouth to gasp in utmost horror.

"The toast…" he started, finishing in a whisper, "… is no more." A tear threatened to spill from his eye as he sprinted back to his room in embarrassment and dramatic effect.

Sesshomaru only shook his head and sauntered towards the toaster. Rin jumped up and down excitedly and pounced to the chair by the counter. "Can I have some, Lord Sesshomaru?"

He didn't say anything audible. The only reply the girl got was his hand reaching for the bread and placing it in the mechanism. Her grin grew wider as she waited for her treat, and Fluffy just couldn't help himself.

Watching the toaster turn bread into toast was just a simple reminder. "… yeah toast…" he mumbled so quietly that no one would hear.

XxX

**Author's Notes-** Well… um… haha, not as good as it was in my mind but it's pretty humorous... I'd like to think so. Okay, so now I _have_ to update on The Call. It's supposed to be next in my rotation but I never follow rules apparently… Even if they are my own.

**-Destiny**


End file.
